In my current job I am given 5 weeks holiday allowance. For 5 weeks out of 52, my employer allows me off the leash to do what I want.
But even then, I do not have full freedom.
I cannot decide to take all 5 weeks in one go.
I cannot take some of this time, added to already earned time off in lieu of working overtime.
I cannot take time off if too many of my colleagues have also booked time off.
I have to give adequate notice to take time off.
You see, even my holiday “allowance” is not freedom. It’s a leash which I am occasionally allowed to slip. But then I must come back to my masters, tail between my legs and carry on being a good employee, servant to the organisation, lackey to my overlords.
It’s not about my not wanting to work hard or even work long hours. Working hard on something that excites or interests me is an enjoyable experience. I’m writing this post at 10.04pm because although I’m tired, writing energises me and I feel then need to get my ideas out. So no, it’s not about the work.
It’s about freedom. I want to regain freedom so that I don’t have to ask anyone’s permission to take time off from my work. And I’ve come to the conclusion that being an employee is in direct opposition to achieving that freedom.
I’m not free yet. But I intend to be soon.
How free are you?